That heart sinking moment when your babysitter cancels…

So, next week Annie turns six months old and on Friday I have my first night out in over a year and a half!

Its a friend’s birthday and the date and the night out has been firmly in my diary since before Annie was born. It was the milestone I was aiming for and everything has been building up to this moment. So much so that I arranged a babysitter months ago, to make sure I had one, to make sure nothing could stop me going out and having a baby free evening.

I’ve been thinking about outfits in my head for weeks, trying to work out what in my wardrobe possibly fits. And I booked a well over due hair appointment so I’d feel good. Groomed and glam. The hair appointment is tomorrow and like the organised person I am I’d also arranged a babysitter for tomorrow, for a couple of hours. To pamper.

Then you get the unfortunate news that there’s been a family bereavement and not only is your baby sitter cancelling tomorrow, Friday evening is also in jeopardy.

And then you get that sinking feeling. And also panic. And guilt because obviously a family bereavement is more important than my silly night out. But you can’t help feeling it. Because you have looked forward to this night out for so long. Because for the last 18 months you’ve sacrificed your body to your baby. You’ve put your baby first for all of that time, and for one night only you’ve got a chance to put yourself first and go out with your friends. To be yourself again – your non-mummy self. And to be honest get a bit bloody pissed.

And now all of that is in jeopardy. And my heart is sinking. Say it’s not so?!!

Tomorrow I’m going to take Annie to the hairdressers with me and I hope she behaves. I’m going to go through the motions of thinking I’m still going out on Friday, and of course if you think something is going to happen, it will. Because if you tell the universe you want something badly enough it listens and you receive it. (Yes, I’ve read “The Secret”).

Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me.


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