I was thinking about this earlier today and I thought it would be good to write a blog about it. The idea of being conventional and conforming to what is viewed as the “social norm”. As a single mum I guess I don’t fit into the conventional category. Neither do some of my closest friends (and that’s probably what I love about them).
What is crazy to me is even in today’s modern world “conventional” means doing things in the right order and that’s judged to be love, marriage and then babies. We’ve made so much headway in so many ways yet most people tend to still conform don’t they? But why? Is that because that’s genuinely what is in our nature as human beings or because people are too scared to live their lives in a different, slightly unconventional way?
I’m kind of happy to be unconventional. And I’m ok with not conforming. But the trouble is some people still have a problem with it. And I wonder why? I wonder if it’s because they feel threatened by it, or whether they can’t relate, or whether they’re too judgemental, or because of their own conventionality they think they’re somehow morally and socially superior. Don’t get me wrong I’m talking about the minority here. A few jerks who have a problem with how people live their lives.
I absolutely don’t have a problem with other people being conventional and I think it should be celebrated. I am genuinely happy for others who have the option to choose that path and in lots of ways envy them for having the opportunity to conform. Life hasn’t panned out that way for me, at least for now, and I’ve chosen a slightly, unexpected path. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be celebrated and valued in the same way.
I think the moral of the story is that parenting is hard enough without the judgement. There’s been a few times in recent months where I’ve had to stop myself from explaining why I’ve chosen this path on my own. Why should I explain, why should I have to justify my decisions to anyone?
The good news is most people are lovely and I’ve been blown away by how loving and supportive people can be.
I strongly believe in fate and this is the way things were meant to be for me. And I’m genuinely happy. Content. And feel incredibly blessed.
So to all the conformists out there. My message to you is congratulations, I’m happy for you, if you’re happy for me.