Traditions lost, traditions gained

My mum passed away 3 years ago and I still feel her absence every single day.  Sundays are particularly hard for me as that was our family day and it was the day I would spend with her. Without fail (unless it was 25 degrees + outside) mum would make a Sunday dinner and that was her tradition. It was the only meal we’d sit around the table for and it would be focused quality time without any distractions. Mum would bring us together as a family and since we lost her there’s been very few times that the family has all been together on a Sunday.

The tough thing is that Sundays are family days for everyone and before Annie (and after mum had died) I often found myself at a loose end on a Sunday quite frequently. I felt a bit lost and unsure of what to do. Everyone was busy with their own families and all of a sudden I didn’t really have that family unit, that go to place, and it left me feeling sad. If my friends were busy I’d busy myself with food shopping, gym sessions or watching box sets and just try and pass the day as best I could. But they were very much tradition-less. They felt empty. They felt lonely. It made losing her all the more painful.

Now I have Annie and Sundays have been transformed. My days are filled with activities, love and laughter. Slowly but surely we’re finding our own family traditions and creating a new realm of happiness. Sundays will never be quite the same without mum and I don’t expect them to be. I’ll treasure those traditions forever and I hope to continue some of them myself. But it’s also about making new traditions for Annie and I.

It’s still to be confirmed what our traditions will be. Every Sunday we’ve done something different and not one day has been the same. I kind of like that. Maybe our tradition will be to always do something or go somewhere new.

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Today we’ve had a wonderful Sunday. This morning we went to the park to play on the swings and met friends for brunch in the park cafe. It was a beautiful crisp autumnal morning and perfect weather for getting wrapped up and having a walk. This afternoon my dad was visiting from London and Annie had a chance to spend some time with grandpa.

If a traditional Sunday is to ensure we surround ourselves with people we love, we’ve definitely fulfilled that today. But quite honestly I’d be content with just spending every Sunday with my beautiful baby girl. Exploring, playing and making memories can be our new tradition. And what a tradition that will be.

 

 

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