Notable life changes after becoming a mum (the less obvious ones)

Of course motherhood is all about making sacrifices and making adjustments to one’s life. Before every mum to be has a baby we prepare ourselves mentally for those generic, obvious things we’ll miss (such as sleep) but actually it’s the little things that have changed that have impacted on me the most. I thought I’d share my list of notable life changes for any mum’s to be (it’s not intended to put you off!)

1. First of all, and possibly most importantly, you will never again be able finish a HOT cup of tea / coffee. Forever more you’ll be drinking luke warm tea or indeed not finishing the drink at all.

2. Your child will always wake from a nap before you get a chance to finish what you wanted to do.

3. You will never be able to sit on your sofa. Once your child is mobile you’ll be sat on the cold hard floor permanently. If you do dare to sit in a comfortable position your baby will almost certainly fall / intentionally throw themselves onto a dangerous object to get you back onto the cold hard floor.

4. It’s unlikely you’ll ever feel completely clean again. Showers are few and far between and when you do have one they’re extremely time limited. Two words: Dry shampoo.

5. Your clothes will forever be covered in food or sick. Or both. Equally it’s impossible to keep a weaned baby clean so you’ll either have to change your baby’s clothes 5 times a day or accept that you have a slightly grubby looking child.

6. Your hands will be always be dry because you will spend your life washing things, wiping bottoms and generally cleaning up after them.

7. You’ll forget what you looked like with make up and brushed hair.

8. You may lose your hair in the worst places possible. This doesn’t happen to everyone but is a well known side effect of giving birth. I’ve been left with tufts of hair regrowth that stick out at awkward angles and frizz uncontrollably.

9. Your feet might well get bigger PERMANANTELY. I’ve just had to throw several good pairs of shoes out because I can no longer squeeze my giant feet into them. I am now a full size larger than I was pre baby.

10. And finally, to end on a positive: you’ll become obsessed with your beautiful baby and all of the above will be completely, 100% worth it 🙂

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The power of now

IMG_8636I re-read a book recently called the “power of now”. The first time I read it it transformed my life. Well, not quite but it certainly gave me a new perspective on life and made me realise the importance of living for now instead of worrying about the past or indeed the future. I started re-reading it recently as life has changed dramatically since I last read it and I thought it would offer me some more enlightenment.

So what does happiness really mean anyway? And is there really such a thing as happily ever after?

I don’t think so. I now strongly believe that happiness is just a mood. Not a destination. There’s no absolute finality to happiness and we can’t just magically wake up one morning having found eternal happiness.

I used to measure happiness based on three different aspects of my life: family life, career life and love life. Based on the law of averages I figured that if two out of the three of those things were good, I could say that my life was relatively happy and fulfilled.

This book reminded me that actually what life is about is just finding a way of making the best of what you have and live for the here and now. It’s not an exact science. There’s power in the realisation that every day is potentially a happy day. Not everything you do every day will make you happy, but a positive can always be found in even the gloomiest of days.

And the past week has been gloomy. Annie and I have had a difficult week, with illness and teething. But we’ve managed, some how, to find moments in every day to smile and create happiness.

Looking at the bigger picture of life and one’s own happiness: My circumstances, on paper, aren’t necessarily ideal. That’s the word other people keep using anyway. Quite possibly others believe my “not ideal” circumstances can’t possibly make me happy. But they couldn’t be more wrong. I’ve learned that life is too short to not be happy. Every day I remember the motto of the book and and try and live for the now. It doesn’t mean I don’t aspire to find more happiness in the future, a different kind of happiness, but I’m determined not to live my life looking for the illusive happily ever after.